1. 1. Date a boy who makes you happy, but marry him only if he makes you laugh deep-belly rumbles that hurt your ribs as they expand outwards. Date him when he sees that you’re hurting and he gives you a moment to feel that pain like a handprint spreading across your consciousness, marry him only if he can make you smile even while you’re gross sobbing. The world is not a kind place. You will feel a lot of pain. Make sure you are with someone who makes it all bearable. Humor is an excellent gauge of intelligence. Life gets boring. Find someone who makes the banal interesting.

    2. Make sure he has scars on the back of his hands, it’s a good sign he has experience either fighting or making things - creation is an act of selflessness and bruised knuckles are a good sign he knows how to defend himself. You’ve got too much soul to be handled by someone who has never been passionate. If he’s never thrown a punch, let him at least have tasted the insanity of bringing an idea into existence. Rough palms are better than soft ones, they have been salted by this earth and made into leather. Callouses are evidence he has lived, that he has broken skin and been in pain over and over and over again and still came back to the source of it. People rub against each other. Don’t marry him if he can’t handle even a little blister.

    3. Before you say yes, get him angry. See him scared, see him wanting,see him sick. Stress changes a person. Find out if he drinks and if he does, get him drunk - you’ll learn more about his sober thoughts. Discover his addictions. See if he puts you in front of them. You can’t change people, baby girl. If they are made one way, it doesn’t just wear off. If you hate how he acts when he’s out of it now, you’re going to hate it much worse eight years down the road. You might love him to bits but it doesn’t change that some people just don’t fit.

    4. Trust your instincts. If he ever makes you feel unsafe, don’t make excuses, just get up and leave. That’s all there is to it. It’s better to be safe than sorry.

    5. If he puts money before you, he’ll keep pushing you to the bottom of the pile until you become his last priority. It’s one thing if he can’t afford what you want, it’s another if he has the cash but won’t spring for a box of chicken mcnuggets. Money and love are arch enemies. 62% of divorces occur due to economic strain. Make sure keeping you is more important than his 401k.

    6. How a man treats animals is a good indicator of how he treats children. If you see him raise a hand to a dog, pack your things into a little black bag. Animals at their worst are only half as annoying as a toddler on their best behaviour. Your kids will be beautiful, but they will also misbehave. Same goes for waiters and hotel maids - if he’s rude to those who are working for minimum wage, it says a lot about how he sees himself. Patience is rare and so important. If he’s not forgiving to a dog, he’s not good for your kids.

    7. If he isn’t in awe of you, he doesn’t deserve you. You are my little girl and you were born perfect. If he can’t see that, it’s his loss. There is someone who thinks your flaws power his heart. Be strong. If he asks you to change, be like like rock of your birthstone, do not waver. You are wondrous just the way that you are.

    My father’s recipe for the man I should marry (part 1/2 of a series). /// r.i.d  (via inkskinned)

    (via supersandlesiban)

    5 hours ago  /  110,292 notes  /  Source: inkskinned

  2. averagebare:

    i heard a kid say “but DAAAAAD” and his dad said “DID YOU JUST CALL ME BUTT-DAD? YOURE GROUNDED” I HAVE BEEN LAUGHING FOR 3 YEARS

    (via hawkinssong)

    5 hours ago  /  258,750 notes  /  Source: slayboybunny

  3. voidprinxe:

    stop hating on girls who wanna kiss people in museums or aquariums or art galleries stop hating on girls who want things that might be cliche stop hating on girls who want boys to treat them like they’re magic i will protect all girls with my life and just because they care about things that you don’t doesn’t give you the right to belittle them ok i will fight u

    (via maybejustalittleconfused)

    5 hours ago  /  26,710 notes  /  Source: voidprinxe

  4. 5 hours ago  /  631,972 notes  /  Source: onlylolgifs

  5. birds-bones:

    Hey! Did you know:

    • sex is okay
    • so is masturbation
    • watching porn won’t make you impure
    • one night stands are okay too
    • having sex with multiple people doesn’t make you a slut
    • even 3-somes or group sex and orgies are a-okay
    • sex with the same gender is alright
    • not having sex doesn’t make you a prude
    • your body your choice no matter your gender
    • shaming other people for who they have sex with, how much they have sex, and even their kinks make you NOT okay!

    (via maybejustalittleconfused)

    5 hours ago  /  339,011 notes

  6. I met my wife at a Star Trek convention. She was study abroad from France and spoke little English, and I didn’t know a lick of French. So, for the first few months of our relationship, we communicated by speaking Klingon.

    Hear more tales of nerdery in this week’s Pwn Up! (via dorkly)

    Okay I’m not even a Star Trek fan but that’s beautiful.

    (via tchy)

    (via killmecaffeine)

    10 hours ago  /  83,126 notes  /  Source: dorkly

  7. (via alexxiia)

    22 hours ago  /  4,438 notes  /  Source: wasa25

  8. outellect:

    on a scale from 1 to sansa stark, how much do you regret your childhood crush

    (via alexxiia)

    23 hours ago  /  24,167 notes  /  Source: outellect

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    23 hours ago  /  87,529 notes  /  Source: politicsprepandpearls

  10. mamayuuma:

    "what will your kids think of that tattoo?"
    my kids aren’t going to give 2 shits because i’m not going to raise them to be a judgmental asshole like yours did

    (via maybejustalittleconfused)

    23 hours ago  /  491,785 notes  /  Source: iiiarclight

  11. Anonymous asked: tell us your most embarrassing story

    jesusinc:

    jesusinc:

    So a while back i was at this party and i was the first girl to arrive and there were like 20 guys already there, we were all siting around, having a beer and whatnot when the dj arrived. So all the guys went out the front of the house to help set up the dj gear and it was just me sitting there alone in the backyard for like 5 minuets. I stood up to go follow them bc i was getting really bored when i realized something, my period had gone through my white pants and stained the while chair, i was humiliated, i had no idea what to do, i could hear the guys were coming back and i had to do something quick, time was running out. So i grabbed the chair, ran like 10 meters and threw it over the fence into the neighboring yard, i quickly walked back and tied my jacket around my waist. The guys soon returned and didn’t suspect a thing, i am amazing.

    image

    23 hours ago  /  111,416 notes  /  Source: jesusinc

  12. unclefather:

    brokendildo:

    what if u were laying in bed and then stretched ur hand up and something hi5’d u

    i’d move to a different continent because i don’t fuckin play like that

    (via maybejustalittleconfused)

    23 hours ago  /  138,589 notes  /  Source: brokendildo

  13. 1 day ago  /  922 notes  /  Source: cut---out

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    1 day ago  /  1,070 notes  /  Source: elora-erised

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    1 day ago  /  16,151 notes  /  Source: agnes-cecile.deviantart.com